Your Quest for Home is Truly Your Quest of Self-Discovery

Paper chain neighborhood and communityHave you picked up your copy of Your Quest for Home yet? If not, I wanted to share a little more insight to draw you in.

Your quest, the one that will lead to you better understand how you want to live in community, is really more about you than anything else. This comes as a surprise to many people. It is important that I stress how much this journey is about you as an individual. If you don’t know your motivations or your reasons for wanting to live this way, something will always feel off.

Humans are complicated animals. So often we find ourselves projecting our own insecurities on the people around us rather than addressing them directly. I’m not saying there aren’t toxic people that can enter our lives, but I am saying the only thing we have control over is our own response.

My guidebook is designed for you, as an individual, to assess the reasons you want to live in community. It is for you to take a deeper look at yourself and learn what kind of person you want to be as you age. This book requires active participation on your part, just like living in community will.

[Read more…]

Expensive Cities Can Be More Affordable in Groups

Image by Anne Fitten Glenn via Flickr

Image by Anne Fitten Glenn via Flickr

Recently, my city of Asheville was listed in a Yahoo Finance article about the 10 cities where ordinary people can no longer afford homes. There are major changes in the real estate market, especially considering that just a few short years ago individual home owners weren’t able to sell their homes without taking a loss or needing to consider a short sale. It just goes to show how quickly things change.

While the article talks about the increasing mortgage rates across the United States it doesn’t seem to indicate the other factors that make these particular cities less affordable. Could it be pay inequality or the higher cost of living? In any case, it may be time to reconsider the way American’s buy homes in the first place.

I have a radical idea for individuals who want to buy homes in these areas: Community Living.

[Read more…]

Positive Aging Conference in Sarasota Florida

Positive Aging PAC14-04I was honored to be asked to speak at the Positive Aging Conference for the third time in its 7 year run so far. I love the very concept behind the event: the new wrinkle, if you will, that aging is a positive thing.

345 people were in attendance at the 3 day event in February. It was an amazing turnout. There were quite a few equally amazing discussions and workshops offered. A few titles that show the breadth of the presentations:

  • Lifelong Learning on Positive Aging
  • How to Use Technology for a Positive Aging Experience
  • Purpose and Fulfillment in Mid and Later Life
  • Gray is Green: Positive Presence of Earth Elders
  • Give it Forward: An Innovative Approach to Legacy
  • Sex, Sleep and Sanity: Three Wellness Essentials

[Read more…]

Breaking News: Marianne Kilkenny Leaves Community Living Behind!

“I’m moving to a mountain cabin by myself. I think it is time to be a hermit,” said Kilkenny in a recent interview with the Solitary Times.

[Read more…]

Community Spotlight: NORC

Image by Jay@MorphoLA via Flickr

Image by Jay@MorphoLA via Flickr

Are you familiar with the concept of a NORC? These communities can’t be built or forced, they are simply naturally occurring like dandelions or maple saplings. NORC stands for Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. These communities didn’t start out just for seniors but for various reasons, such as people moving in or out or aging in place, they are occupied in large numbers by older adults.

NORCs can exisit anywhere; suburbs, cities, condos, houses, apartments. The type of structure doesn’t matter as much as the ages of the residents who make up the majority of the community. Because of the natural evolution of these communities relationships develop over time and community members begin to form a support system. Thus, they begin to attract other seniors to the area as well.

NORC Blueprint has also evolved to provide tools for individuals interested in community living. NORC Programs, like the one in New York, offer services and infrastructure to seniors living within these communities.

An excellent example of a NORC in action is in the town of East Point Georgia. While the wider community has a diversity of ages, there are parts of town where seniors live today. Three Atlanta area organizations came together to give the seniors living in the East Point NORC important services.

[Read more…]

Tips for Staying Healthy: Things we Attribute to Aging that Aren’t

I just read the most fascinating article. I think it may have changed the entire way I think about aging. How many times have I ignored aches and pains or mood shifts and attributed it to my age? I firmly embrace my age, I don’t try to run from it, but that doesn’t mean I’m honest with myself all of the time. I’m pretty sure most people aren’t.

I think the most important take away from this information is how to determine what is “normal” and what might need a closer look. Let’s look at some of the conditions mentioned in the article and see how we can keep ourselves healthier and in control of our own lives.

1. Grumpy old man behavior. While Grumpy Cat might be an internet sensation today, for decades the image of the bent and wrinkly old man shaking his cane and taking about things were much better when he was a boy was the gold standard for age related crankiness. Everyone is entitled to be in a bad mood from time to time but a permanent frown isn’t necessarily a sign of aging. If a sour mood affects your personal relationships, ability to work or sleep, or any of your everyday functions it might be more than just a bad day. If you are unable to identify a cause for your foul mood it may be time to talk to your doctor about depression or other health issues that cause emotional irritation.

[Read more…]

Sharing Your Stories – A Call for Participation

NYT_Article_ImageHere is a call to action: We, at Women for Living in Community, want to hear from you!  It is your time to share your stories with us. We know you’re out there and we know you’re reading so it is time to step out from behind the curtain and face the audience!

So, now that I am done with the lecture I need to explain myself a little better. I’m not being the bad guy. I’m not trying to put people on the spot. However, what I am trying to do is shed a light on the subject of community living. I want people to see the benefits, understand the issues, and learn more about why this is a viable option for so many people looking for alternatives to the current way we stack old people up in homes and forget about them.

We are the pioneers! The trailblazers! We are the future of community!

[Read more…]

Overcoming Objections: Stop Talking About Your Excuses and Start Making a Change

The Grand Nudge

The Grand Nudge

One of the things I hear most from people curious about living in community is the phrase, “Oh, I could never do that…” This is usually followed by a laundry list of “reasons” why changing their lives could never work out. Usually these objections don’t reflect flaws in the community living model but rather insecurities from people not sure where to start or afraid to take the first step.

I am here to tell you: it isn’t going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it! 

My new guidebook, Your Quest for Home, provides a number of different exercises that you can do to address the burning questions that might be keeping you from making this major change in your life. Here is an excerpt to get you started.

I encourage you to click below to read more from Your Quest for Home.

[Read more…]

My Favorite People

No woman is an island and rather than let you think I have come up with all of these great ideas by myself I wanted to share some of the people who influenced and inspired me along the way. This list is of my favorite people and why you might want to add them to your list as well.

Joan Medlicott

joan medlicottThe author of the Ladies of Covington Series has been a great inspiration to me in my journey. Truly ahead of her time, Joan’s books are filled with strong, older female characters. I’ve had the pleasure getting to know Joan over the years with our first introduction in 2005. She was a contributor to our conference in 2007. I frequently loan her books out to other women who want to know more about shared housing. It is hard to know what the future holds for Joan since she is dealing with an illness now. I am glad to share her legacy with other women.

Click below to read more about my favorite people.

[Read more…]

How to Advertise for Community Living: Resources Beyond Craigslist

Image by In 30 Minutes Guides via Flickr

Image by In 30 Minutes Guides via Flickr

So many people ask me for practical advice about shared households and how to get started. One of the biggest steps toward this goal is to spread the word about your need for like-minded people to join you on this journey.

Since there are so many possible ways to handle shared living a lot of the information will vary depending on your specific situation. For instance, if you want to purchase a home with two or three other people your relationship with them should be very different than if you were renting our rooms in an existing home. Sometimes, but not always, you will want to keep your focus local to attract people who are ready to make this change now. Other times you may want to expand your search further out from where you are now. All of these factors will play into exactly how you advertise and where.

My ideas are after the jump.

[Read more…]

Women For Living in Community