I often talk about the financial aspects of community living options as we age. It is really great to be able to pool money and resources and live in shared house or community. Other subjects that frequently come up with this topic are companionship and caregiving. However, there are a few more hidden benefits we can take away from sharing a home or an intentional community with other like-minded adults as we age. Community living can make us healthier. Here is a look at some of the ways this works.
4th of July: The Value of a Potluck
don’t eat at home if you’re all alone there
come and hear the world band play
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet
don’t fret for time or what you should “prepare”
share “what you’ve got” today
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet
tell ev-ry-one
“come join the fun!”
no need to “fit in” you’re IN if you’re OUT
diVERsity rules the day
life is a BIG potluck my friend
I know some pots I can recommend
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet!
(Music by J. Kandar, words by R. Ott. Performed at Jubilee Community)
Not too long ago I (or, rather, my alter-ego the Grand Nudge) shared some ideas for how to know if you can get along with potential housemates in a shared living situation. The impending holiday has brought up another idea which can be used to determine compatibility before changing your living arrangements and to share your new community with your surrounding neighborhood.
This miracle event is the humble potluck.
Everyone’s been to a potluck party sometime in their lives. You bring a hot dish or a cold salad and add it to the impressive table of handmade food from everyone else attending. You want to try just a little taste of everything but soon your plate is overflowing with potato salad, broccoli casserole and barbecued chicken. These parties can really bring a community together.
There are two possible uses for the potluck when it comes to building your future community:
- Determine the compatibility of potential housemates.
- Introducing your community to your neighborhood.
Let’s take a closer look at these ideas.
Housemate Compatibility
So far you’ve done everything by the book to meet new people and start to move forward with your shared housing plans. You have a handful of folks who might fit the bill but how do you know for sure if you can live together? Here is where the potluck can come in handy. Invite all potential house mates to a back yard party. Be specific with requests and ask everyone to help out in a different way. This can tell you how everyone follows directions. You can see if the really care about the party or if they just phone it in. See if they are on time or if they’re more than just fashionably late. Watch who helps clean up or who decides to sit and watch at the end of the event. This can tell you a lot about whether or not you can see yourself living with any of these people in the future.
Community Introduction
After you’ve moved into your new shared housing arrangement you may want to introduce your unconventional household to the surrounding neighborhood. Whether they say it out loud or not, your neighbors will be very curious about this new group of people living next door. If you don’t give them an opportunity to ask the questions you may find yourself the center of some pretty interesting neighborhood gossip. Head this off at the pass and invite everyone to a back yard potluck. Your household can provide the main dish and desserts so ask everyone else to bring sides. This can be a great way to get to know the people around you and share with them the ideals behind community living as you age. You may be surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response you’ll get.
So as we celebrate the 4th of July, keep the humble potluck in mind as a great tool for engaging and creating community both in your own home and in the surrounding areas.
We want to hear from you! Have you had a positive experience with a potluck in your community? Share your story in the comments or join the conversation on Facebook!
For more information on how to determine housemate compatibility, check out my guidebook Your Quest for Home available on Amazon.
60s, 70s and 80s – Why We Don’t Stop Counting at 30
You know one thing I am kind of glad most people don’t seem to do anymore? Lie about their age! There was a long time in our culture where discussing a woman’s age was a strangely forbidden subject. I’m sure it stemmed from the devaluing of women as they age past childbearing years and if I were a sociologist I would study it. I’m not, though, so I’ll simply embrace it and encourage it.
Our 60s, 70s and even 80s can be the best times of our lives if we want them to be.
Other Blogs of Interest: 10 Websites for Elders
Many of us think of the internet as a young person’s tool, but that is far from the truth. There are plenty of websites available for boomers who are looking to connect with others or read about subjects that interest us. I thought it might be nice to showcase some of these blogs so you can add them to your bookmarks.
Here are a few that I’ve stumbled across.
What is a Crone and Why Should You Care?
There are a lot of words that can be used to describe elder women and not all of them are flattering. They might include hag, biddy, battle-axe, shrew, and harpy. But there is a better word which we can reclaim and use to emphasize wisdom and the lessons we’ve learned throughout the first two thirds of our lives.
The word in question is Crone.
[Read more…]Women Leading the Way for Community Living
When I started Women for Living in Community I didn’t choose that name because I only expected women to be interested. I wasn’t picturing a village of Amazons armed with spears to keep the men out. I also wasn’t thinking it would be an idealized community of feminist baby boomers. My real motivation is that I truly believe women would take up this mantle of change and lead the rest of the country into a new aging paradigm.
Tiny Houses and The New Retirement with Ryan Mitchell
This is a guest post from Laura M. LaVoie, author of the book 120 Ideas for Tiny Living. Laura lives near Asheville in a 120 square foot home she built with her partner, Matt. You can read her blog at www.120squarefeet.com and buy the book on Amazon.
Marianne is off on a sun filled vacation and asked me to fill in with this post since it is all about tiny houses, a subject I know just a little bit about.
For this post I’ve Interviewed Ryan Mitchell the owner of The Tiny Life, a blog about tiny houses, and the author of the eBook The New Retirement.
The Grand Nudge: How to Know You Can Live With Someone
Okay boys and girls. Today we have a pretty serious lesson for you. People always ask me how to get started and for the most part the first thing to do is actually get started! I’m here to tell you that there are no magic words and no one will do it for you so hop to it!
But even I understand there are a lot more complex questions around the issue of building community. One of the top questions is “How do I know if these are the right roommates for me.”
Well, I’ve got some tricks for you.
Here are a few sure fire ways to really get to know someone.
- Look in their refrigerator.
- Look in their medicine cabinet. (Oh come on – we all do it anyway!)
- Go shopping with them.
- Go on a road trip with them.
The New Retirement
In the February/March 2014 issue of the AARP Bulletin they included an article about the changing economic climate and how boomers are needed in the workplace. There was a time where working adults were expected to stop what they were doing, get their gold watch, and amble off into a land of golf and relaxation. Times are changing, though, and not always for the better.
Women For Living In Community: Mother’s Day
“To my mom, Betty Jane Martin, who was a woman before her time. She was my hero and she continues inspiring me to find new ways to help others to age with grace and dignity.”
This is from the dedication page in my new book, Your Quest for Home. I wrote my book to honor my mother, Betty Jane Martin, and her memory and legacy.










