The Grand Nudge: How to Know You Can Live With Someone

Grand Nudge Txt 2Ahem!

Okay boys and girls. Today we have a pretty serious lesson for you. People always ask me how to get started and for the most part the first thing to do is actually get started! I’m here to tell you that there are no magic words and no one will do it for you so hop to it!

But even I understand there are a lot more complex questions around the issue of building community. One of the top questions is “How do I know if these are the right roommates for me.”

Well, I’ve got some tricks for you.

Here are a few sure fire ways to really get to know someone.

  1. Look in their refrigerator.
  2. Look in their medicine cabinet. (Oh come on – we all do it anyway!)
  3. Go shopping with them.
  4. Go on a road trip with them.

I wrote about talk about other ways to know if someone is right for your community in my book Your Quest for Home.

The Importance of Good Communication

Clarity is the solution to almost any problem or challenges that will come up. Therefore being clear in all areas of your communication is a must. It is important to be very, VERY clear on your goals, your personal timeline, your finances, your “yes’s” and “no’s.” It all begins with self awareness and a willingness to say “yes” to what you want and “no” to what you don’t want.

All of us can benefit and move forward when our written and verbal communication follows the Seven C’s of Communication:

  • Clear
  • Concise
  • Concrete
  • Correct
  • Coherent
  • Complete
  • Courteous

Indications You Are Right for Each Other

  • Your values are in alignment.
  • Your desires are compatible or similar enough move forward.
  • You share a similar timeline for when you want to be in Community.
  • You have or can agree on a system for making decisions.
  • Once you live together, your personal schedules will not conflict.
  • You share the same level of passion and intensity about this project and about life.
  • You have similar/compatible styles of communication.
  • You agree on how often to communicate with each other and the form it takes.
  • You have predetermined how you will settle a disagreement.
  • Your personal habits do not overly annoy one another.

For more exercises and ideas to build community, I encourage you to buy my book Your Quest for Home. The guidebook is great for groups who need to explore their compatibility. You can buy it on Amazon today!

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  1. […] too long ago I (or, rather, my alter-ego the Grand Nudge) shared some ideas for how to know if you can get along with potential housemates in a shared living situation. The impending holiday has brought up another idea which can be used to determine compatibility […]

Women For Living in Community