Celebrating Our Connections

Women for Living in Community is not just a website or a place to meet others interested in this lifestyle. Certainly that is a part of it but there is more we can do as advocates. Part of our mission as women paving the way toward a culture of change surrounding the way we age is redefining the entire paradigm. What does it mean to live in community and what makes it different from the experience most people are having today?

celebration banner

I suggest that one of those ways, as we forge our own families in community, is to continue celebrating. I don’t necessarily mean a birthday cake with candles and party hats but really diving in to the meaning behind celebration. I believe that women building community have a chance to share our message with the world through the value of hospitality.

There are so many ways we can celebrate our continued vibrancy as we live in community with one another. Spontaneous dinner parties, game night, open houses, and “croning” ceremonies are all excellent choices. So what are these things and how can we implement them in our shared households? Let’s look at them one by one after the jump.

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Love in Community Living: Cohousing with a Spouse

Shades Warrior Suite 7542

Image by U.S. Army via Flickr

There is a reason this community is called Women FOR Living in Community rather than just Women Living in Community. When I began this journey I knew it wasn’t for women only but that women were the glue that could hold these community relationships together.

A young friend recently shared with me that her aging parents are moving out of their colonial style home. With joint and vision problems they are no longer able to navigate the staircase with confidence. Their home, the one where they raised 3 children, has multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and could be a perfect home for community living. Imagine, instead of selling the home, if they repurposed it and invited others to share the space with them. How could this change the game for many seniors who would prefer to age in their own homes?

I encourage you to continue reading my thoughts about community living below.

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Community Spotlight: My House Our House

Photo from My House Our House

Photo from My House Our House

Community living can take on many forms. Today I wanted to share with you the story of Shadowlawn, the home of Jean McQuillin, Karen Bush, and Louise Machinist; three women who created a cooperative household to reduce expenses and live well for much less money than it takes to run a traditional home. They are housemates, friends, and co-authors and three individuals who chose to live together.

In the summer of 2013, their book came out to share their story with others.

In 2004, we were each happily living independently in Pittsburgh. While planning for a distant retirement, we realized how fantastic it could be to live together. We found ourselves asking, “Why not now?”

I encourage you to continue reading about My House Our House below.

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Your Quest for Home: Where Do I Start?

I am frequently asked about the best ways to start community. How do you find other people interested in living these types of situations?

your quest for homeThe good news is that my guidebook, Your Quest for Home, will soon be available. You can sign up for the mailing list to know when it will be available on the homepage.

In the book I share some important information about how to start your journey toward community living including how to meet others on a similar path. I tackle this information starting in chapter 8.

When I set out to intentionally find a community in which to live, I had no idea that I was also stepping into a profound opportunity to discover myself. I didn’t know that in order to find people to live with. . . people that I WANTED to live with. . . I would have to know myself.

The guidebook offers an exercise for you to begin learning about yourself, your desires for community living, and your ultimate goals.

I encourage you to click below to read more about how to find others and the guidebook.

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Alternative Living Solutions: Tiny Homes, Pocket Neighborhoods, and More

Here at Women for Living in Community we talk a lot about cohousing or shared housing or other types of community living. It is in our name, after all. But we also know that not everyone is interested in these types of living arrangements as they age. What are some other alternatives for us? While some of these may have community components, they are independent living at the core. Let’s take a look at just a few.

Inside Laura's Tiny House

Inside Laura’s Tiny House

Tiny Houses

Recently, guest author Laura M. LaVoie posted about tiny homes. The movement is gaining ground and becoming quite popular due to media attention. This recent article showcases the tiny life of Bette Presley. She hopes that by downsizing her life drastically she can keep her children from having to deal with a house-load of possessions when she becomes unable to take care of herself. She also hopes that living in a tiny space will help her avoid nursing home care all together.

Pocket Neighborhoods

The concept of a pocket neighborhood is a series of small homes built with a central area and access. The idea is that community is built into the neighborhood but each home is individual. Friendships can be made but residents have their own sense of space. These communities tend to be multi-generational and the interaction is at everyone’s own pace.

Click below to read more ideas about alternative living solutions.

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New Year’s Resolutions from Women for Living in Community

11695066003_345f318181_zThe holidays are over. We’ve watched the ball drop and rang in the New Year. Now, the real work begins. This time of year is where many people make resolutions they often set aside by February. Instead of impossible goals, what if you use 2014 to work toward your dream of living in community? Here are just a few resolutions that can move you forward this year.

  • Make connections. Community building is all about making the right connections. Join online forums, local meet-ups, and engage with everyone you meet. Talk about community building and what you do when you’re out at the store or at a restaurant. You never know who you will meet. Also, don’t hoard these introductions. When you meet someone who can help a friend or colleague, introduce them. Building community is all about surrounding yourself with the right people.
  • Begin to downsize. You may not want to move into a tiny house as a part of your community lifestyle, but you probably will want to simplify. This year is a good year to start. Look at your clothes, your books, your furniture; what can you part with? Donate anything you won’t need when you move into your ideal community living situation. Go one room at a time and if that is too overwhelming, start with a drawer. You can also begin to evaluate the space you do use in your life and how small you can go when you move. Would you be comfortable in a single bedroom? What are your true wants when it comes to a new life?
  • Challenge yourself. No one said building community was easy. There is a lot of hard work to accomplish what you’re looking to do. Challenge yourself to making these goals happen this year. Attend a conference or a workshop. Talk to real estate agents about homes in your area that would fit the profile. Get out of your comfort zone. If living in community were easy, everyone would do it. We have to be the trailblazers.
  • Share your story. Being accountable is one of the best motivators. Talk to others about your plans and let them keep you in check. Take it one step further and start a blog about your journey. The more followers you gain the more you will feel responsible for making something happen.

What can you do in 2014 to kick start your dream of living in community and make it a reality?

I can help! Contact me at my website or join in the conversation at Facebook to learn more! 

Image by vanhookc via Flickr

Happy Holidays from Women for Living in Community

“In and through community lies the salvation of the world” – Scott Peck from The Different Drum

Image by youngthousands via Flickr

Image by youngthousands via Flickr

Whatever you celebrate, we want to wish you a beautiful season and a happy New Year. This is always a great time to reflect on where you’ve been and where you might want to go. This holiday season, make community a part of your reflection. How do you see community building and living in your life next year?

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.Les Brown

Image by Phil Campbell via Flickr

Image by Phil Campbell via Flickr

Happy Holidays from all of us here at Women for Living in Community!

Business Innovation Factory Connected Aging Participatory Design Studio

In early November I was invited to Providence, Rhode Island to participate in a discussion with 15 others about leaving outdated concepts of aging behind.  The day long “think tank” discussion was  part of  the Connected Aging project, funded by the Robert Woods Johnson Foundation with the  Business Innovation Factory.  BIF  will be completing the project with a video featuring some of us and parts of our stories as part of the project.

Photo by MeSome of the questions posed in November included:

What if we created experiences that focus on the continued pursuit of connection and purpose rather than the increasing need for monitoring and care?

 

What if we broadened the pool of possibilities for accomplishment and contribution?

What structures would support connection?

Throughout the workshop I got to know the others involved in the discussion. They included representatives from Artists and Scientists as Partners, the Time Goes By Blogger, and a Director of Elder Affairs to name of few of those assembled for the day. I felt honored to be in such great company.

The reoccurring question that we asked ourselves was:

How do I want to live my life?

I encourage you click below to learn more.

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My Favorite Things: A Women for Living in Community Gift Guide

Tis the Season!

Blog after blog is releasing their gift giving guides and lists of their favorite things. I figured if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

Image by Matthew Huchinson via Flickr

Image by Matthew Huchinson via Flickr

Here is a list of my favorite things that can make great holiday gifts this year for the women, and men, in your life who embrace their age. Don’t forget to put a few of these on your own wish list.

Crone Cards. This deck of cards provides wisdom right at your fingertips from elder women who represent all walks of life.

In the Arms of Elders. This part memoir, part fiction, part parable book is a great novel that highlights the dignity and value of older people.

Golden Girls DVDs. Why not give the gift of fun and laughter? The Golden Girls are an all-time favorite and provide an excellent representation of community living.

Click below for more great gift ideas! 

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Men Living in Community: A Conversation with Dr. Joe Cole

This week I had an opportunity to speak with Dr. Joe Cole. To get to know him a little more, here is the bio he shared with me.

Joe Cole is a philosopher, writer, and facilitator who loves growing sweet potatoes.  He lives in Carrboro, NC and was one of the original residents of Pacifica Cohousing Community, where he was a Lead Facilitator for several years, crafting policies to improve decision-making and develop a stronger culture of consensus.  Joe works as a facilitator, consultant, and trainer with non-profit organizations, consensus-based groups, and intentional communities.  He is a Visiting Assistant Professor of Philosophy at Guilford College, where he teaches courses on Just War Theory and Environmental Ethics.

We focus a lot about women living in community, but I wanted to get the perspective of a man who has not only experienced community living but who also advocates for it. Here is what Joe had to say.

Tell me about your community living situation?

I lived in a cohousing community for 6 years, and was involved in the planning of the community three years before that.  I am currently living in a more conventional neighborhood.

What led you to want to live in community?

I was attracted to the values of community and sustainability.  I wanted to experience living together cooperatively and having shared resources.  And there were sustainable elements of the homes and the community that were appealing.  Overall I feel that building community and cooperative institutions is an important way to create alternatives to the greed and individualism that dominates our culture.

What do you like most about it?

I enjoyed the sharing of resources and working together with neighbors to manage our land and community.  It was a great learning experience for me to work together cooperatively.  I had the ideals of community and cooperation, but I didn’t really have the skills and awareness of what it takes to live in community before moving in.  The experience and challenges of living there inspired me to take a two year facilitation training course, and I continue to learn and practice facilitation and cooperative skills in all aspects of my life–family, work, and community.

Would you recommend it to other men?

Absolutely.  I believe that living in community is a great challenge and a great joy.  It is an opportunity for growth and transformation.  And it offers a sense of meaning and accomplishment to contribute to communities and institutions that are reaching for something deeper than mainstream consumer culture offers.

We would love to hear from other men who have had experience living in community or who want to know more. Please let us know here or in a conversation at our Facebook page!

Women For Living in Community