Creating Community Where You Already Are (Do you know your Neighbors?)

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I know in many places in the country people feel very isolated. From suburban neighborhoods to apartments, neighbors just don’t talk to each other like they use to. There was a time when everyone on every street knew all the other people lived there. They were each others support networks and friends. Our increasingly more digital culture, with all of its benefits, has allowed us to remain isolated in our homes and reach out to friends and family through the power of social media rather than in person.

Are you interested in creating community as you age? The first place to start is right in your own neighborhood.

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Expensive Cities Can Be More Affordable in Groups

Image by Anne Fitten Glenn via Flickr

Image by Anne Fitten Glenn via Flickr

Recently, my city of Asheville was listed in a Yahoo Finance article about the 10 cities where ordinary people can no longer afford homes. There are major changes in the real estate market, especially considering that just a few short years ago individual home owners weren’t able to sell their homes without taking a loss or needing to consider a short sale. It just goes to show how quickly things change.

While the article talks about the increasing mortgage rates across the United States it doesn’t seem to indicate the other factors that make these particular cities less affordable. Could it be pay inequality or the higher cost of living? In any case, it may be time to reconsider the way American’s buy homes in the first place.

I have a radical idea for individuals who want to buy homes in these areas: Community Living.

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Community Spotlight: NORC

Image by Jay@MorphoLA via Flickr

Image by Jay@MorphoLA via Flickr

Are you familiar with the concept of a NORC? These communities can’t be built or forced, they are simply naturally occurring like dandelions or maple saplings. NORC stands for Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. These communities didn’t start out just for seniors but for various reasons, such as people moving in or out or aging in place, they are occupied in large numbers by older adults.

NORCs can exisit anywhere; suburbs, cities, condos, houses, apartments. The type of structure doesn’t matter as much as the ages of the residents who make up the majority of the community. Because of the natural evolution of these communities relationships develop over time and community members begin to form a support system. Thus, they begin to attract other seniors to the area as well.

NORC Blueprint has also evolved to provide tools for individuals interested in community living. NORC Programs, like the one in New York, offer services and infrastructure to seniors living within these communities.

An excellent example of a NORC in action is in the town of East Point Georgia. While the wider community has a diversity of ages, there are parts of town where seniors live today. Three Atlanta area organizations came together to give the seniors living in the East Point NORC important services.

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Celebrating Our Connections

Women for Living in Community is not just a website or a place to meet others interested in this lifestyle. Certainly that is a part of it but there is more we can do as advocates. Part of our mission as women paving the way toward a culture of change surrounding the way we age is redefining the entire paradigm. What does it mean to live in community and what makes it different from the experience most people are having today?

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I suggest that one of those ways, as we forge our own families in community, is to continue celebrating. I don’t necessarily mean a birthday cake with candles and party hats but really diving in to the meaning behind celebration. I believe that women building community have a chance to share our message with the world through the value of hospitality.

There are so many ways we can celebrate our continued vibrancy as we live in community with one another. Spontaneous dinner parties, game night, open houses, and “croning” ceremonies are all excellent choices. So what are these things and how can we implement them in our shared households? Let’s look at them one by one after the jump.

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Love in Community Living: Cohousing with a Spouse

Shades Warrior Suite 7542

Image by U.S. Army via Flickr

There is a reason this community is called Women FOR Living in Community rather than just Women Living in Community. When I began this journey I knew it wasn’t for women only but that women were the glue that could hold these community relationships together.

A young friend recently shared with me that her aging parents are moving out of their colonial style home. With joint and vision problems they are no longer able to navigate the staircase with confidence. Their home, the one where they raised 3 children, has multiple bedrooms and bathrooms and could be a perfect home for community living. Imagine, instead of selling the home, if they repurposed it and invited others to share the space with them. How could this change the game for many seniors who would prefer to age in their own homes?

I encourage you to continue reading my thoughts about community living below.

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Alternative Living Solutions: Tiny Homes, Pocket Neighborhoods, and More

Here at Women for Living in Community we talk a lot about cohousing or shared housing or other types of community living. It is in our name, after all. But we also know that not everyone is interested in these types of living arrangements as they age. What are some other alternatives for us? While some of these may have community components, they are independent living at the core. Let’s take a look at just a few.

Inside Laura's Tiny House

Inside Laura’s Tiny House

Tiny Houses

Recently, guest author Laura M. LaVoie posted about tiny homes. The movement is gaining ground and becoming quite popular due to media attention. This recent article showcases the tiny life of Bette Presley. She hopes that by downsizing her life drastically she can keep her children from having to deal with a house-load of possessions when she becomes unable to take care of herself. She also hopes that living in a tiny space will help her avoid nursing home care all together.

Pocket Neighborhoods

The concept of a pocket neighborhood is a series of small homes built with a central area and access. The idea is that community is built into the neighborhood but each home is individual. Friendships can be made but residents have their own sense of space. These communities tend to be multi-generational and the interaction is at everyone’s own pace.

Click below to read more ideas about alternative living solutions.

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Share the Mission: 4 Ways to Advocate for Community Living

So, you want to live in community but you don’t know how to get started. I plan to provide a step by step guide to help out toward the end of this month but for now I want to share one of the most important things you can do to establish community: Advocacy. In order to attract like-minded people it is important to get the word out about what you’re doing.  Here are four ways you can advocate community living.

1. Social Media. Even if it just to look at photos from friends’ vacations or connect with your family on the other side of the country, you probably have Facebook. It is a valuable tool to use for connecting to others who have similar values. Search for groups on community living and “like” the pages. Use hashtags, or phrases that start with #, on Facebook or Twitter for your posts to be searchable by others. For instance you may say something like, “Attending a workshop on co-housing this week! #livingincommunity.”

I encourage you to click below to read more ideas on how you can advocate for living in community.

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The Best Place to Retire – for You!

photo credit: Kolin Toney via photopin cc

The internet loves to share lists. There is a reason for this. People love to read lists and so they skyrocket to the top of Google searches and suddenly everyone believes they have to have a list. I won’t promise that there will never be any sort of list on this website but I thought a more constructive thing to start with, rather than “Top 5 Places to Retire,” would be a guide to determine the right place for you.

I live in Asheville North Carolina which is consistently on the top 10 or so cities for retirement but I know that it isn’t a perfect place for everyone. However, for those who love it they can’t imagine living anywhere else.

This article gives some practical advice for choosing where to retire. Rather than reinventing the wheel, here are the important questions asked by writer Steve Vernon in the linked article.

  • Do you want to be near friends and family?
  • Will you be taking care of aging parents? If yes, will you need to be close by?
  • Do you have hobbies or interests that play into where you’d want to live?
  • Will you work during retirement? If so, will the location matter to you? (If you’ll transition to a part-time schedule for your current job, you may need to retire near or exactly where you live now.)

Click below for my thoughts on these bullets.

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Pop-Culture Women in Community

Women living in community is not a new concept. It is also one that Hollywood and other pop culture outlets have used as a plot point and theme for some time. I thought I might share some examples from TV, film, and in books of women living in community that can make us smile when we think about women living in community.

  • The Golden Girls. This is the gold standard, no pun intended, when it comes to fictional women sharing a home and building community. This 80s sitcom was a turning point in the way our culture viewed aging women. Each character fit a stereotype. Blanche the very dichotomy of a southern belle combined with a sexually free mature woman. Rose was the simple Midwestern girl who was surprisingly wise. Dorothy had the New York street smarts and quick wit. Sophia held the role of the Italian matriarch who taught her daughter a few things.

Click below to read more examples of fictional women living in community.

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Transforming Existing Neighborhoods – Part Two

This home was collectively purchased and turned into the Common House for N Street neighborhood in Davis, CA.

In last week’s blog, I wrote about bringing more community to your existing neighborhood. This week, let’s discuss what it will take to make this happen. If this is the path you’re considering, here are several important characteristics you’ll need – starting with patience. To be successful, you’ll be speaking with the households on your block and the surrounding blocks to determine if they wish to participate. Be prepared for this process to take time and lots of it. You’re introducing a new idea and people need time to digest something new and make the time in their already busy lives.

Leadership is another key trait. Transforming a neighborhood needs a champion, someone to keep everyone and everything moving forward. If you’re that leader, consider finding a co-leader as soon as possible. You will need to coordinate ongoing events, including planning and implementing social and educational activities. A political effort may also be needed if a  zoning change is involved or to create an HOA, if one doesn’t already exist.

Vision is a third necessary characteristic to see the blueprint of what’s possible and the importance of increased community on your block. Add to  vision, strong communication skills as you’ll be sharing your idea to a diverse group of people understand your vision, including existing residents, current landlords, city officials, potential future residents and design professionals. Communication tools may include your creating a neighborhood newsletter, a community bulletin board,  email list or distributing a flyer about upcoming events to people’s homes.

Tenacity is the final trait required. Some people will find the idea exciting. Others will be opposed. It will require ongoing effort over time to transform your existing neighborhood into group of households that is aligned with a community version.

“Transforming something that is already there involves overcoming the inertia of what is for the benefits of what could be,” said Zev Paiss, sustainability educator and author of From Here To There: A Positive Story of America’s Future.

Models to reference include “retrofit cohousing” where existing cohousing neighborhoods have been turned into supportive communities. In this model, residents start with a few existing homes on a block and adapt the houses, alleys, backyards and courtyards to make them more pedestrian-friendly and community-oriented.

One example is N Street Cohousing in Davis, California, a 19-household neighborhood that started forming in 1991. This community was created by future residents buying up houses in the neighborhood and then taking down the side and backyard fences between the homes. Another example is Temescal Creek Cohousing in Oakland, California, which took only three months to get started.

Retrofitting an existing neighborhood has the advantage of adapting existing structures and not needing to build new construction. It offers innovative opportunities, such as outreach to your friends and family members when homes in the neighborhood go on the market. Another option if for neighbors to buy a home together and convert it into a shared space for meals, meetings and guest bedrooms for out-of-town guests.

The largest disadvantage of transforming your existing neighborhood is the resistance you may meet from current homeowners on your block. However, it may only take five to six households who get behind your idea to make a difference in the amount of community you and others will enjoy.
If you’re interested in this neighborhood process and other ways of creating community in your housing arrangement, please contact me.

Women For Living in Community