The Conversation: How to Discuss Community Living with Your Kids

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Community living for older adults is a relatively new concept, all things considered. Baby boomers watched their parents live in retirement and nursing homes and are looking for an alternative. That is why solutions like shared housing and aging in place are so attractive. But, there are some additional things that need to be taken care of if this is something you’re interested in pursuing.

One of those things may be explaining your idea to your adult children.

So many websites offer advice for adult children about how to “assist” their parents with their retirement or their elder care. Most of this advice is geared toward pretty conventional forms of retirement and estate planning. Your adult children may have a very specific idea about what your 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond will look like. What if it is very different from your vision?

Click below for a few tips on how to talk to your adult children about your decision to live in community.

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Three Important Questions to Ask Yourself

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I am guessing that you have an interested in community living or other alternative living situations as you age or else you probably wouldn’t be reading here. There are so many possible solutions that can consider. Co-housing, shared housing, and aging in place are only a few examples. Now that you have been thinking about how to get started and where you might want to live, there are a few things you should be asking yourself.

1.       Is this what I really want to do?
2.       Who will take care of me?
3.       Is this house a place that can be accessible?

Each of these questions will have a very different answer for every individual, so let’s look at  them with a little more detail.

I encourage you to click below to read more.

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5 Places to Retire: What Lifestyle Are You Looking For?

Last month I mentioned the problem with Top 5 Lists of best places to retire. This month I am going to break my own rule and provide you with a list, but one with a purpose.

I’m choosing only 5 locations, but of course there are countless places in this country that could fit every possible lifestyle.

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Here are some places you might like if you’re interested in outdoor activities, city living, warm weather, international travel, and small town living.

Boulder, Colorado. If you like to hike, swim, fish, and enjoy the beauty of the natural world one of the best places for you is this town in Colorado. Boulder lacks the same big city rush you’ll find in Denver and you really can’t beat the majestic scenery all around the area. There are several public parks along with easy access to the Rocky Mountains. The city is bike friendly and there is already a strong 65 and older population.

Washington DC. Other people love the hustle and bustle of a big city and if NYC seems a little too energetic you might want to consider Washington DC. There is plenty to do in the nation’s capital and you can choose to live in the heart of the city itself or in the Virginia or Maryland suburbs with easy access to the city center. Cafes and nightspots are always hopping with activity and if you don’t want to leave those days behind DC could be a perfect choice for you.

Click below to see a few more ideas for retirement places.

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Exploring Community and Interdependence – 9/2013

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How do I get Started Building Community?

The number one question asked on this blog and social media is, “How can I start living in community?” I thought I might take some time to answer a few of those questions.

Just like good journalism, it is important to ask yourself the “5 Ws” before to create a plan to get started.

Who, What, Where, Why, and When?

Answering these 5 questions will give you a head start on the “How?”

Start with your “Why?” What purpose do you want to achieve by living in community? Is it to reduce your expenses? It is to have companionship as you age? Is it to have assistance? There are so many reasons to consider it is important to know your motivations.

The next step is to determine the “Who?” If you have been talking about this for a while, who have you spoken to about the idea? Have you noticed any sparks of interest in those conversations? Look at your extended social networks. Who thinks outside of the box? Who might be interested in this type of living situation? Think though the tangible concepts like current life situations, time and money resources, and if you can see yourself living with them.

I encourage you to click below to see more steps to take on the path toward community living.

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Sharing Resources: Using a Time Bank in Your Household

Have you ever heard of a Time Bank?

Many communities are establishing formal time banks. At this year’s Ignite Asheville event, speaker Thomas Beckett shared some information on the concept.

The idea is pretty simple. You exchange your skills and time for other people’s skills and time. And what better way to implement this than within your community living environment.

Many of the resources you will read when it comes to time banks are about a formal establishment; however, bartering your time with that of your housemates doesn’t have to be any more formal than a verbal agreement. Consider these ways to create a time bank in your home.

Click below to read some the ways you can make this happen.

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Share the Mission: 4 Ways to Advocate for Community Living

So, you want to live in community but you don’t know how to get started. I plan to provide a step by step guide to help out toward the end of this month but for now I want to share one of the most important things you can do to establish community: Advocacy. In order to attract like-minded people it is important to get the word out about what you’re doing.  Here are four ways you can advocate community living.

1. Social Media. Even if it just to look at photos from friends’ vacations or connect with your family on the other side of the country, you probably have Facebook. It is a valuable tool to use for connecting to others who have similar values. Search for groups on community living and “like” the pages. Use hashtags, or phrases that start with #, on Facebook or Twitter for your posts to be searchable by others. For instance you may say something like, “Attending a workshop on co-housing this week! #livingincommunity.”

I encourage you to click below to read more ideas on how you can advocate for living in community.

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The Best Place to Retire – for You!

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The internet loves to share lists. There is a reason for this. People love to read lists and so they skyrocket to the top of Google searches and suddenly everyone believes they have to have a list. I won’t promise that there will never be any sort of list on this website but I thought a more constructive thing to start with, rather than “Top 5 Places to Retire,” would be a guide to determine the right place for you.

I live in Asheville North Carolina which is consistently on the top 10 or so cities for retirement but I know that it isn’t a perfect place for everyone. However, for those who love it they can’t imagine living anywhere else.

This article gives some practical advice for choosing where to retire. Rather than reinventing the wheel, here are the important questions asked by writer Steve Vernon in the linked article.

  • Do you want to be near friends and family?
  • Will you be taking care of aging parents? If yes, will you need to be close by?
  • Do you have hobbies or interests that play into where you’d want to live?
  • Will you work during retirement? If so, will the location matter to you? (If you’ll transition to a part-time schedule for your current job, you may need to retire near or exactly where you live now.)

Click below for my thoughts on these bullets.

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Challenges You Might Face on the Path to Community Living

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Anytime someone has an idea that is different than that of mainstream culture they will face some challenges from society. The good news is that humans do well in adverse situations so it is safe to buckle in and see where this road takes you. Here are 5 challenges you might face as you begin a journey toward living in community.

  • Purchasing a shared home. Living in community involves resources so you need to make sure you discuss finances with the individuals with whom you’ll be sharing a home. If you chose to pool your money to purchase a home this is doubly as important. Be sure to be thorough with your agreements and the legal language so everyone feels safe with their investment.
  • Zoning laws regarding unrelated roommates. Several years ago, here in my town of Asheville, a local homeowner came under fire by the city for renting the 8 rooms in his home. In order to establish a community household you need to be aware of the laws in your municipality regarding unrelated roommates. Unfortunately, there is not one good answer since the regulations are different from place to place. Sometimes the issue can be solved by having safety measures in place and other times it is more complex. Talk with your local government or others who have done this in your city to find out more.

Click below to read more about the challenges you may face when building community.

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Rules and Tools: How to Establish Best Practices for Living in Community

One of the most common questions I’m asked is “how do I start a community like this?” I thought I might share just a few quick rules and tools that can help you get started on your path to building community as you age. These 10 things are just a sample of the kinds of things that you will need to establish before considering shared housing.

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  • Agreements. The very first step in establishing community is to determine the shared agreements for individuals living within the household. Are you expecting to live with friends or will you be sharing your house in an unknown roommate situation? Do you own the home or is there a landlord? Leases and agreements should be detailed and will be legally binding once signed by all parties.
  •  Exit Strategy. Each housemate should have an understanding of what would happen when they leave the household. There should be plans in place for breaking a lease early and for providing notice to the home owner. It may also be important to know what to do in the case of a toxic roommate.
  •  Roles. There are many ways to share a home. Each housemate may be very independent and only responsible for themselves and their space, or there may be a desire to share household roles such as cooking or cleaning. This should be established prior to someone moving in.

 

Click below for the rest of the rules and tools you need for creating your own community.

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Women For Living in Community