Seasons of Life

Autumn colors in Asheville

I told you I was taking some time off from the computer and my office. I called it my summer sabbatical. I realized as I looked at the lovely Fall colors here in Asheville I could no longer say it is summer. I love writing this and adding pictures. Sharing a few with you. 

There has been a little “work” done this summer. I did a fun “Lunch and Learn” at my local YMCA where I work out. It was great to get out there and talk to a small group of interested folks about my passion. Connection and Community as We Age. It was just an hour, with handouts, exercises and participation. Since then a few of the members who attended stopped me at the gym to say: 

  • “I went through your book. Very helpful!
  • I met my neighbors and we are getting together
  • My husband is getting interested in our next steps”
Lunch & Learn at my local YMCA

November means another turn around the sun for me. I am so grateful! A few years back I allowed myself a celebration that I am so glad I did.

When I listened to the glowing accolades about my parents at their Celebration of Life years ago I promised myself to have that kind of thing BEFORE I was dead. I must say it was a moving experience. It was produced and orchestrated by very talented friends. I highly recommend it!

Linda with Kitty and Linda and I in Florida

There are also changes on the home front.  My housemates have changed. Linda W. is back in sunny Florida, to her chosen community. I miss her, and my forever housemate, Judy is moving into the suite here at Bettyz Playz. 

Judy in Gazebo in summer and Christmas 2021 with Josie

Some of you might know, my two elder kitties Pyewacket (named after the cat in the old movie, Bell Book and Candle) and Persie (short for Persistent) crossed the Rainbow Bridge together on April 6th, 2022. 

PY and Persie

After a period of transition, grieving for my buddies of many decades and many moves I considered fostering cats. Enter Valentine and Ann Marie, siblings that were billed as bonded cats. I renamed them Frankie and Grace (of course). Frankie turned out to be a very smart, large, curious and destructive influence at BP. He was returned to the rescue organization, went back to his original name and got adopted. PHEW.

Grace lives up to her name and is an angel who loves to catch “Da Bird” flying for entertainment.

Which is Grace? Top far right!

I didn’t expect my pause would be so long. Yet a great deal has changed in the world that has affected me and of course others. What I did with my “Pandemic years” included a great deal of time in front of my computer screen. Included were classes I took and some I offered. You also might have seen my face on my Facebook Live offerings that are now on my YouTube station.

That is terrifying and fun all at the same time. I am glad it was available, yet I missed the in-person times.

Bettyz Playz

So what is on the Horizon?

Women for Living in Community will continue, possibly taking new forms and relaxing other things.

I have been at this for over 16 years and I am glad to say I feel I have accomplished my quest.

And there now are many other online resources for connection and camaraderie for older women  Revel, TheEthel, and many FB groups around Golden Girl living. I will keep you in the loop on the ones l like going forward. 

Bettyz Playz – named after my mom, Betty, and a play on words.

Bettyz Playz is my home and location now of the Asheville Golden Girls- Judy and Marianne.

My intention is to host meetings and gatherings/ workshops, salons, book groups, and more. There will be offerings next year to presenters who would like to take advantage of this lovely piece of heaven in Asheville.

This winter I plan on being in Sarasota, FL where I have many friends and community members on the quest through the years. While I am there Judy and Grace will enjoy this haven with visits from friends and family here at Bettyz Playz. 

Progress on MY Quest

Thanks to all of you who have been with me along the way or just joined me. I started out by saying I don’t want to have the later years of my life look like my parents. Well, they don’t for many reasons. And part of it was my intention. And why I have offered you a view of it along the way.

Like many good intentions, mine started out with a FEAR and a negative. I don’t want this.

So I said, “What CAN if do instead?” That was the start of Women for Living in Community many years ago. I won’t go over all the details but I am happy to say as 2022 ends I feel settled. Want to catch up with my quest over the years? From my blog post through the years. Blog of MK’s journey

In a nutshell, my intentions are:

  • To live like the Golden Girls
  • Take risks!
  • Expand my network of friends and community
  • Stay creative and offer what I have learned about the importance of connection as we age
  • Eye on the prize, be tenacious

My mission :

To further the alternative housing choices for people as we age.

My future and 2023 :

Share my journey with others- talk to groups, have conversations, and inspire others to take action.

I shall be sharing more here and on Facebook.

See you soon,

Social Media to stay connected:
Links to My Facebook Personal page

Women Living in Community Network – Home | Facebook

Website link – please subscribe and share Women for Living in Community

Youtube channel Women Living in Community – YouTube

My Summer Sabbatical

Me in my Gazebo

Things are always changing. I am sharing some of my recent changes with you and how they are affecting me and  Women for Living in Community activities (or lack of activities).

In the last few months, I have lost 2 significant housemates and gained a wonderful new one.

Some of you might know that BOTH of my kitties decided to exit over the rainbow bridge in early April with the assistance of my wonderful Vet,  Dr. Beth and Kelly, the Vet Tech who have been providing palliative care for them over their elder years. 

NOTE: I should have it so good in my elder years!

The Kitties

It was the right decision to let them go but a very difficult one that has really devastated me in a way I had no idea of the impact. The house is so quiet without their pattering and meows. After owning them for almost 20 years the adjustment has been brutal. I hope some of you pet owners can relate. 

Persie and PY

My new housemate is Linda. We have lived together before and I have visited and stayed with her many times in her shared housing locations in Sarasota, FL over the last decade. She will be with me until the temperature drops to lower than 50 degrees for any sustained amount of time here in Asheville. Welcome, Linda.

Over the last few years, my 60’s brick house has purposefully been transformed inside and out. The last phase was significant hardscape and plantings to make a sanctuary and space for gatherings.

With the inside and outside spaces completed, I hope to host parties, salons, groups and workshops in the future. The lovely completion is called Bettyz Playz after my mom (she did know how to spell though).

Bettyz Playz

And after the last few years of many zoom workshops and meetings, I feel it is time to change there too. More in-person and less online for me. I am calling that “more high touch and low tech”. I am very grateful for the workshops and classes I was able to take. Also those I could offer. Thus I am stepping away from the office for a summer sabbatical to enjoy the outdoors and maybe do some traveling. 


I am very thankful for all the years I have been welcomed into your home to read about my community living transitions. My desire is to assist and inspire you.

Social Media to stay connected: Links to FB personal page

Women Living in Community Network – Home | Facebook

Website link – please subscribe and share Women for Living in Community

Youtube channel Women Living in Community – YouTube

Women Role Models in this Community

New year -Setting Intentions and your North Star

A Tribute To Betty White

Rituals & Community

Igniting Visions & Beginnings 2022

Thank you to those who responded to our poll about ways to communicate with you and reach out to you. We also asked for possible topics you are interested in. Thank YOU!

There was good information from the 26 of you that responded. I will attempt to address some of them in two separate blog posts with some resources for you to check out. And also, what WE intend to do. 

Not too surprising that there is some distrust of Facebook out there. That is really too bad as I have participated in some really great classes that were using a Facebook platform to run a class in a private Facebook Group. We might be doing that in the future, as there are not many other platforms.
Did you know, you can join a Facebook Group without “being on” Facebook or posting anything. All you need is a simple profile. Based on the interest from the poll I intend to create a private Facebook group for action takers. That is where Facebook Live recordings like I have been doing will be hosted in the future.

Some of you want specifics about your local community. For example, how to develop and connect with others there. May I suggest what I would do? Google away on as many of the topics and locations that want specifics too. I guarantee you will get ideas. 

In my experience, most of us don’t really KNOW what we are asking others to participate in with us. You can reach out, but what are you asking them to do? Maybe you know exactly. Can you articulate it quickly and simply? I think of it as my community “elevator speech”.

That is why I am planning on doing a few workshops, classes and other opportunities for you to touch on some of these areas this year. 

1. Interested in finding others that include ideas around the People part of your community: Get your free guide and get started here!

2. Workshops:

  • Solo Agers workshop with one of  my colleagues in the field
  • An offering on my Guidebook on zoom for a nominal cost every quarter. If you already have the book, dust it off and join me. 

If you are REALLY interested in any of the offerings we plan on having, sign up here and you’ll be the first to know when the time comes. 

3. Another offering is still in the works around forming a community as part of our mini-course. 

Finding the right housemates

Some of you asked about finding the right housemates. So much of that really depends on you. To help you with the topic there are 2 resources I consistently refer others to from my trusted colleagues. 

  1. My House Our House – Available on Amazon

2. Sharing Housing website and resources Founder of, Annamarie Pluhar covers things like the financial agreement between housemates; how to set boundaries, other practical points of shared living and so much more. She has a great newsletter with juicy connected articles if you subscribe.  

Some of you may own my Guidebook. Have you cracked it open? Is it sitting on the shelf? What are you waiting for? Many of the things you inquired about are covered in that book. That is why I did it. I found that many of us have hazy ideas of what we want and how to get it or there are issues standing in our way.

Let’s clear those out. Together. 

Read my blog about the last class I offered and the results that were created by the women.

If you missed the Facebook Lives or just don’t want to deal with Facebook, the videos are chronicled on my YouTube Channel.

Skills towards community forming are offered now online by the Foundation of Intentional Communities that are reasonably priced

Meetups, lectures and seminars, and just hanging out with others who have similar inklings for support and challenge are great building blocks for your Quest. There are now so many virtual possibilities in the age of Covid. Many more possibilities in store for you. 

Again, if you’re REALLY interested in any of the offerings we plan on having, sign up here and you’ll be the first to know when the time comes. 

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Why anything is better than being called “Elderly”!

Language Matters!

If you’ve been following (which I hope you have!) in mid-November I put out a poll on Facebook to gather input from our community to expand on the language or words for how we would like to describe ourselves as a group as we age.

Is it boomer, elderly, crone, wise owl? Do we have a preference? What would we “call” ourselves?

Although, I seemed to have miscommunicated my question to you. “What do I call myself?” I realize communication is everything, and some of the answers showed my error, whoops! Nevertheless, those that were reading between the lines, you understood!

We’ve had some great juicy and imaginative ones! However, we’re still looking for ones that might stick. As you know I am always on the Quest.

Here is what we have so far with those receiving the most votes at the top as of now.

As you can see, none of the “usual suspects” garnered too many votes. It looks like the community is allergic to “Senior Citizen”. In all honesty, the creative options our community pulled out, “Polished Silver” “Recycled Teenager”, “Nostalgic Expert” felt more fun! Let’s face it no one, our age, wants to be called “elderly”.

And in case you want to see what I shared on this, watch it here:

A little tidbit of information from The Grand Nudge for you:

Becca Levy’s longevity research in a Yale study shows that when we’re negative about getting old, we can start to feel, and even act old, and that can undermine our actual length of life. What she found was that the people who had a positive view of aging, and said so, lived about 7 ½ years longer than the people who saw aging in a negative light. 

Tip: Every time you think to say, “ I am getting old.” Or “I am senior moment”.  Stop! 

Terms to call us? Is it senior citizen, boomer, crone or what?

Light Up With Love & Connection This Festive Season

The holidays are a time for celebration with those who are most important to us, whether it’s family by blood or family by choice. WIth Covid still lingering, we’ve proven we’re resilient and we’ve learned that we do better when we’re connected to community.

Friends gathering together in Asheville.

Let’s be bold and focus on what we can do to make the most of the festive season with those around us. Ask yourself how you can show up for your neighbours, community, loved ones and allow them to show up for you?

The holidays are about connection, just like the mission of this very website. So how can we make more connections this time of year and into the next?

We’ve put together some ways to create and build connections with those around you:

1. Volunteer in your community Helping others has been proven to make you feel better about yourself. When you give back to others you increase your own sense of self-worth and satisfaction. It is also a great way to meet like-hearted people in your community.

2. Reach out to an old friend. Social media has changed the way we connect to our friends, family, and even casual acquaintances online. Facebook can, and does, facilitate in person connections as well as long as you use it right. Is there someone from your past you’ve been thinking about? Maybe it is time to look them up and reconnect.

3. Join a social group. Of course, while online connections can help encourage face-to-face interaction, nothing beats getting together in real life. And what’s a better way to bond than over a shared interest? Look at community websites or your local newspaper to see what events are happening near you.

4. Check on your neighbors. Do you know your neighbors? If you don’t, now here is your chance to ring a doorbell and reach out! Or send over a card, make a connection! 

5. Host a virtual potluck. For those that are worried about big gatherings. There is still a way! Why not make your favourite festive dish, create a chart of friends to join in the fun in your area. Drop off that cooked meal on their doorstep, and enjoy it together virtually.

What can you do this holiday season to get yourself moving in the right direction for making connections and creating community in your life?
Remember what you have been given the gift of insight into the lives of people you may never know and of folks you may have known all your life. This is an opening, an invitation to compassion and understanding, and, as disconnected as we are now, it is actually an invitation to connect.

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Women For Living in Community