The four women and one man who share this Golden Girls-like home enjoy regular meals together.
In last week’s blog post, I wrote about the Golden Girls-like home (named after the TV series) where Boomer Women share a house and live together under the same roof. This house-based intentional community has many benefits, including personal privacy, companionship, and reduced daily expenses. On the financial side, you share the rent or mortgage payment, house maintenance and upkeep of common spaces, such as the kitchen, living and dining areas.
If you’re considering creating or joining a shared household, here are five personality traits to help you determine if you’re a good fit. These insights come from my personal five-year journey to create the Golden Girls-like home I now live in in Asheville, North Carolina and to help reduce the time it takes you to find an ideal housing arrangement for the next chapter of your life.
You’re Social – Enjoy Connecting with People
To successfully live with housemates, you need to enjoy spending time with others. Sharing a home, especially as an adult, requires lots of interaction – both spontaneous and planned – with your housemates. It’s not that you need to be an extravert but, if you are an introvert, you are comfortable having daily contact with housemates.
You Like Living in Close Proximity with Others
Will you feel comfortable being seen when you come out of the shower wrapped in your towel or robe? Can you tolerate someone saying hello before you’ve had your first cup of coffee? Depending on the design of the home and the location of bedrooms and bathrooms, you may be interacting with your housemates first thing in the morning or throughout the day. Ask yourself, “How much privacy do I need?” Will you feel “surrounded” by housemates or will you enjoy the company of sharing a kitchen and dining area with others? If you like having people around when you cook, then this lifestyle may work for you.
You’re Flexible
When considering sharing a home with other Boomer adults, it’s important to be flexible. People and circumstances change, sometimes with little advance notice. If you’re someone who can flow with the small and large changes in people’s lives – from lost keys to lost jobs – the better your chances of successfully living with others.
You’re Tolerant of Someone Using/Borrowing Your Things
Living in a shared home, almost by definition, requires a higher level of sharing. It’s inevitable that items like kitchen tools, books and other personal items will end up being used (and sometimes broken) by housemates. Your level of comfort around sharing your things will contribute significantly to your success in this housing arrangement. Saying what’s important to you and establishing boundaries can go a long way to making a shared home work after you move in.
You’re a Strong Communicator & Good Listener
Many issues come up when you’re living in a “Golden Girls-like Home.” You’ll be dealing with use of community spaces, finances, guests, activities, pets, standards of cleanliness and more. To successfully navigate through all these conversations and make sound group decisions requires clearly expressing your personal preferences and hearing the needs of your housemates.
A document that our household has found helpful is the Blue Print of We document available on the Resources page of my website.
Finding your ideal housemates and setting clear boundaries about how you want to live together is one of the workshops I offer. Please contact me if you’d like a free 30-minute consultation.
Having seen this house in action, I know you ladies are working hard to make it work–and having a lot of fun along the way. I loved meeting everybody, and am so proud of my sister Marianne for her efforts to further this important concept for the boomer generation, who, as in many other ways, wanted to do things differently from our parents!
I very much want to start a Golden Girls. I have a very nice house I’d like to share, not only due to the need I have to help keep my home, but I;d like the company alike. If you could advise me on how to go about this I would be very greatful. Suzanne
I currently live in a federally funded building in NYC, which is for low income people. I had a talk with a friend of mine a few years ago about buying a brownstone when we got older to share with a bunch of friends, but housing being what it is I NY, it doesn’t sound viable at this point. However the idea of sharing housing is still an interesting idea. I am unmarried and in my late 60s and in good health, but in looking forward to aging alone, I am considering the loneliness factor. I do wonder if joining forces with like-minded women once I do more research. I’d love to hear the viewpoints of others in my situation.
Sharing a home needs people with open minds, sense of humor, decency and goodness and willingness to make it work.
Yes Mary and some real tools to get along is helpful too.
mk
Are you still hosting Women Living in Community metup group / living in Asheville?