My Journey

March 14, 2012 by

“One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.” Margaret Mead

I come home from a long trip to the West Coast exhausted from the time change and the joys of current air travel. As I turn into my driveway, I see my lights are on in my house and the shades are drawn. What a welcome sight for a woman living alone. I’m expected; someone is welcoming me home.

It is my neighbor, Ginny, who has been taking care of the house and my two cats while I visited distant states in my campaign to tout the glories of living in community. In the last 4 years I have encouraged, cajoled, and nudged my fellow Boomers to investigate new ways of spending our lives as we move forward into its second half. [Read more…]

Filed Under: My Story, Personal Preparation, Shared Housing, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

How to share our lives

March 8, 2012 by

“Let’s Get Physical”   (Remember the song?)

When we think of community and living IN community one of the first questions asked is? What will it look like?

Through my many years of looking for “my community” I researched, visited sites all over the country, hours on the web, books, seminars,  probing, questioning and soul searching.  Then there were some pretty stupid and costly “lessons” too. You might have to hear about those in person.  I wish I had this book with all it’s wise checklists to guide me along the way back then.

Here is another part of the a checklist from The Sharing Solution by Janelle Orsi and Emily Doskow.  You can get it for free at http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/sharing-book.html.  Check out other resources like this one at  https://www.womenlivingincommunity.com/resources/books/.

A morsel for you from their wonderful book: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Collaborative Tools, My Story, Personal Preparation, Resources for You, Shared Housing Tagged With: , ,

How to share?

February 16, 2012 by
This week a celebrity came to Asheville, NC, my home town.  She’s a lawyer and she wrote a book that everyone should own.  The Sharing Solution: How to Save Money, Simplicify Your Life & Build Community. The title says is all. Who wouldn’t want to own this book?
We all could share better. We were supposed to learn it long ago as children.  I guess we forgot. I sure did.  Now I am learning. [Read more…]
Filed Under: Personal Preparation, Pocket Neighborhoods, Resources for You, Shared Housing Tagged With: , , ,

6 Tips for Finding Others to Share Housing

January 1, 2012 by
A large number of you wanted to know how to find others who might be interested in a shared housing experience. I thought I would give you a few pointers about that from my experiences.  The journey starts with you:

TIP #1:   Start by answering a few important questions.  

Why does this resonate with you?
What appeals to you? Look inside you.
The big question is. Why do I want to live in a shared house?
Then start moving outside of yourself to see who else might be in your tribe or your social web who is interested too. [Read more…]
Filed Under: My Story, Resources for You, Shared Housing Tagged With: , , , , , ,

NBC Nightly News- After Thoughts

December 7, 2011 by

It’s been a wild and wonderful ride since last Saturday’s show on NBC Nightly News Weekend edition. It started out with a call on my cell phone a man, Tranh Tran,  with a very sexy voice, saying he was with NBC and would like to talk to me about the possibility of featuring something about the growing trend of Boomer women sharing houses.  He had found my name in various places in his Google search. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Community Anywhere, Graceful Aging, My Story, Shared Housing, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Perks! A Day in the life of a shared houser

November 4, 2011 by

No coffee today!

 What a way to start the day! Got a bad cold and laryngitis too! Poor me. But wait ! There is a knock at my door. S. shows up to apologize for slamming the door as she takes out the recycling for pick up. Slam away, at least I don’t have to take it out in the blustery, gray and rainy morning.

 Next I get a hug from S. Joining both G. and S. for coffee is offered in the common kitchen which they share, and I say “Sure!” I didn’t have to make my coffee today. Then on top of that wonderment, I got some scrambled eggs at a table with cloth napkins and some company. Couldn’t even sit and feel sorry for myself this morning.

To add to the festivities of the pre-8am goings-on (is that a Southern term?) a raccoon or some other creature had gotten into the garbage and it was strewn all over the driveway. The thought of going and picking all that up this morning overwhelmed me. Before I had a chance to grab the rubber gloves, (which I did slowly) L. was out there doing the chore of picking up after our 4-legged neighbor. Bless your heart. (Yes, that is Southern expression, I am sure).

Off went G. to give a ride to a friend with instructions to S. NOT to do the dishes. Yes, they do them by hand. I saw my opportunity to give back for the treat I had been given this morning. I did the dishes in their kitchen, as I have my own kitchen in our shared house, and felt GREAT about doing dishes. Maybe I do have a fever. The things that continue to surprise me about living in a shared house with the right folks.

Next is was helping S. off to her 17-day trip to St. Croi (sp?) for her daughter’s wedding. Don’t know that I was much help, but it felt good to try! Off she went in her little bug. It felt good to wave goodbye to her. I know that I love to have someone wave goodbye to me when I am off, especially for a long trip. Makes me feel like I have a family who will know I am gone.

Well, we have that here. A chosen family who looks out for each other, and so many little things that add up to a big feeling of comfort and love.

Who knew? I didn’t but I did dream about it. It’s reality now.

Filed Under: Community Anywhere, My Story, Shared Housing, Uncategorized

BFF- Who is she?

October 1, 2011 by

My BFF or Best Female Friend is Sarah. We have known each other for 33 years and counting. We have been through our weddings, divorces, buying houses, care giving for our parents, the death of parents, family challenges, work in Silicon Valley for years and all that took, and the escape from that Valley of horrors without too many ticks or enduring health challenges.

We moved apart, physically but never did we move apart in other ways. I can sometimes feel her when we are together on the phone. I know that I can call her no matter what is going on with me and she will be there.

I hope you all have a friend like this.  I always know she will understand me.

She has shared my dream for the type of living where those of us without children (not that would secure a future) we can have fun, live surrounded by folks we love and care for and and love and care for us. That mutual support that is so important to all of us.

Sarah always got what I was talking about around this idea. We brainstormed, talked about ideas, and even looked at property.  She came to visit me in North Carolina and I visited her in Santa Barbara. We looked at the many possibilities that might work. The creative process continues and the reality of that living alternative  as we age together becomes visible.

Will we live together like the Golden Girls?  I hope so.  What a blast it would be.  Having that kind of knowledge of each other, the history without the family system in place would be divine.  You have a BFF you would love to have share the ride with us?  Keep dreaming with Sarah and I.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Golden Girls plus one – My move to Shared Housing

August 18, 2011 by

Reflections of my move to my shared housing in Asheville, NC

Most moves, especially in a short amount of space, take a toll emotionally, spiritually and physically on me. This one feels so different. Why? Because I am in the place with the people in a way that feels right for me now.

I have said to anyone who would listen, that I wanted to live like the Golden Girls for the last 20 plus years. The laughter, zest for life and camaraderie really has called to me. So much so that I have encouraged others with workshops and my work on Women FOR Living in Community.

How this wonderful arrangement came about is one of the parts of the story. While I was doing “my work” and sharing my passions with women at the workshops and other related work  I was also looking for my tribe, those who I would want to live with. [Read more…]

Filed Under: My Story, Personal Preparation, Shared Housing Tagged With: , , ,

Welcome!

April 5, 2011 by

Welcome !

I am Marianne Kilkenny and I have been interested in aging in community for many years. In particular, living like the Golden Girls is the best way to describe what I have in mind. A place that provided camaraderie, zest for life and laughter that was always present in their home together.

Living in community, THE solution to the challenges and isolation of aging today.

My interest is to bring Boomer women together to bond and form connections together. You might see a theme, it’s about not waiting, but to take action now.   As women, we are the ones who bring others together so it’s time now to build alliances that will give us new models to thrive in as our lives move forward into our 2nd Half of life. Whether you live with other women, your family of friends, your extended family, it’s about making it happen.

Many of us have talked about getting together and buying a big house, or sharing a space, building or retrofitting a neighborhood, or doing more than just talking about getting to know our neighbors.

The time is now. Please join us. I would love to hear what you are dreaming about, doing to build this vision into reality. We can learn from each other to form a future that encourages interdependence and trust. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Community Anywhere, Graceful Aging, My Story, Shared Housing, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

Creating Community Everywhere Conference – 3/2011

March 26, 2011 by

Creating Community Everywhere Conference, Sarasota, Florida (3/2011)

Conference sponsored by the Living in Community Network as a follow on to last years conference. Marianne spoke about models and the people who are drawn to them. See short video of presentation.

Filed Under: Past Events
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