Book Review | The Big Tiny: A Built-It-Myself Memoir by Dee Williams

the big tinyOnce again, I’ve asked my friend and professional writer Laura M. LaVoie to provide some insight on the tiny house community and how it may relate to graceful aging, living in community, and other issues boomers face today. Laura has read and reviewed the book The Big Tiny by Dee Williams, a woman living in Olympia Washington in a house smaller than 100 square feet.

Beyond almost anything else, I am grateful to be a part of the tiny house community so I can meet wonderful souls like Dee Williams. She is funny, bubbly, and kind. Like most of the tiny house community, we are all spread across the country so most of our interaction takes place on social media. However, in April of 2014 a couple dozen bloggers converged on the first annual Tiny House Conference in Charlotte NC. Dee was the key note speaker. This was right before her book, The Big Tiny, hit bookstore shelves so I really didn’t know much about her story beyond the basics that she was willing to share online.

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New York Times and Community Living

Photo credit Mike Belleme for The New York Times

Photo credit Mike Belleme for The New York Times

On July 11th, the New York Times ran this article featuring myself, my shared home, and the Women for Living in Community network.

“We weren’t intended to drive into the garage and turn on the TV,” said Ms. Kilkenny, who is divorced and has no children. Instead, she believes “aging in community” is a viable alternative to growing older alone or in a more traditional situation, like marriage.

It was a fantastic experience to open our home to the photographer and reporter and have an opportunity to share our story. I encourage you to read the entire article at the New York Times site.

What are your thoughts on community living as we age? Leave a comment or join the conversation on Facebook.

 

How Community Living Can Make you Healthier

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I often talk about the financial aspects of community living options as we age. It is really great to be able to pool money and resources and live in shared house or community. Other subjects that frequently come up with this topic are companionship and caregiving. However, there are a few more hidden benefits we can take away from sharing a home or an intentional community with other like-minded adults as we age. Community living can make us healthier. Here is a look at some of the ways this works.

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4th of July: The Value of a Potluck

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don’t eat at home if you’re all alone there
come and hear the world band play
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet

don’t fret for time or what you should “prepare”
share “what you’ve got” today
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet

tell ev-ry-one
“come join the fun!”

no need to “fit in” you’re IN if you’re OUT
diVERsity rules the day
life is a BIG potluck my friend
I know some pots I can recommend
life is a BIG potluck my friend
come to the grand buffet!

(Music by J. Kandar, words by R. Ott. Performed at Jubilee Community)

Not too long ago I (or, rather, my alter-ego the Grand Nudge) shared some ideas for how to know if you can get along with potential housemates in a shared living situation. The impending holiday has brought up another idea which can be used to determine compatibility before changing your living arrangements and to share your new community with your surrounding neighborhood.

This miracle event is the humble potluck.

Everyone’s been to a potluck party sometime in their lives. You bring a hot dish or a cold salad and add it to the impressive table of handmade food from everyone else attending. You want to try just a little taste of everything but soon your plate is overflowing with potato salad, broccoli casserole and barbecued chicken. These parties can really bring a community together.

There are two possible uses for the potluck when it comes to building your future community:

  1. Determine the compatibility of potential housemates.
  2. Introducing your community to your neighborhood.

Let’s take a closer look at these ideas.

Housemate Compatibility

So far you’ve done everything by the book to meet new people and start to move forward with your shared housing plans. You have a handful of folks who might fit the bill but how do you know for sure if you can live together? Here is where the potluck can come in handy. Invite all potential house mates to a back yard party. Be specific with requests and ask everyone to help out in a different way. This can tell you how everyone follows directions. You can see if the really care about the party or if they just phone it in. See if they are on time or if they’re more than just fashionably late. Watch who helps clean up or who decides to sit and watch at the end of the event. This can tell you a lot about whether or not you can see yourself living with any of these people in the future.

Community Introduction

After you’ve moved into your new shared housing arrangement you may want to introduce your unconventional household to the surrounding neighborhood. Whether they say it out loud or not, your neighbors will be very curious about this new group of people living next door. If you don’t give them an opportunity to ask the questions you may find yourself the center of some pretty interesting neighborhood gossip. Head this off at the pass and invite everyone to a back yard potluck. Your household can provide the main dish and desserts so ask everyone else to bring sides. This can be a great way to get to know the people around you and share with them the ideals behind community living as you age. You may be surprised by the overwhelmingly positive response you’ll get.

So as we celebrate the 4th of July, keep the humble potluck in mind as a great tool for engaging and creating community both in your own home and in the surrounding areas.

We want to hear from you! Have you had a positive experience with a potluck in your community? Share your story in the comments or join the conversation on Facebook!

For more information on how to determine housemate compatibility, check out my guidebook Your Quest for Home available on Amazon.

60s, 70s and 80s – Why We Don’t Stop Counting at 30

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You know one thing I am kind of glad most people don’t seem to do anymore? Lie about their age! There was a long time in our culture where discussing a woman’s age was a strangely forbidden subject. I’m sure it stemmed from the devaluing of women as they age past childbearing years and if I were a sociologist I would study it. I’m not, though, so I’ll simply embrace it and encourage it.

Our 60s, 70s and even 80s can be the best times of our lives if we want them to be.

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Other Blogs of Interest: 10 Websites for Elders

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Many of us think of the internet as a young person’s tool, but that is far from the truth. There are plenty of websites available for boomers who are looking to connect with others or read about subjects that interest us. I thought it might be nice to showcase some of these blogs so you can add them to your bookmarks.

Here are a few that I’ve stumbled across.

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What is a Crone and Why Should You Care?

photo credit: Foxtongue via photopin cc
photo credit: Foxtongue via photopin cc

There are a lot of words that can be used to describe elder women and not all of them are flattering. They might include hag, biddy, battle-axe, shrew, and harpy. But there is a better word which we can reclaim and use to emphasize wisdom and the lessons we’ve learned throughout the first two thirds of our lives.

The word in question is Crone.

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Women Leading the Way for Community Living

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When I started Women for Living in Community I didn’t choose that name because I only expected women to be interested. I wasn’t picturing a village of Amazons armed with spears to keep the men out. I also wasn’t thinking it would be an idealized community of feminist baby boomers. My real motivation is that I truly believe women would take up this mantle of change and lead the rest of the country into a new aging paradigm.

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Tiny Houses and The New Retirement with Ryan Mitchell

newretirement-278x350-2This is a guest post from Laura M. LaVoie, author of the book 120 Ideas for Tiny Living. Laura lives near Asheville in a 120 square foot home she built with her partner, Matt. You can read her blog at www.120squarefeet.com and buy the book on Amazon.

Marianne is off on a sun filled vacation and asked me to fill in with this post since it is all about tiny houses, a subject I know just a little bit about.

For this post I’ve Interviewed Ryan Mitchell the owner of The Tiny Life, a blog about tiny houses, and the author of the eBook The New Retirement.

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The Grand Nudge: How to Know You Can Live With Someone

Grand Nudge Txt 2Ahem!

Okay boys and girls. Today we have a pretty serious lesson for you. People always ask me how to get started and for the most part the first thing to do is actually get started! I’m here to tell you that there are no magic words and no one will do it for you so hop to it!

But even I understand there are a lot more complex questions around the issue of building community. One of the top questions is “How do I know if these are the right roommates for me.”

Well, I’ve got some tricks for you.

Here are a few sure fire ways to really get to know someone.

  1. Look in their refrigerator.
  2. Look in their medicine cabinet. (Oh come on – we all do it anyway!)
  3. Go shopping with them.
  4. Go on a road trip with them.

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Women For Living in Community