February 16, 2012 By Leave a Comment
This week a celebrity came to Asheville, NC, my home town.  She’s a lawyer and she wrote a book that everyone should own.  The Sharing Solution: How to Save Money, Simplicify Your Life & Build Community. The title says is all. Who wouldn’t want to own this book?
We all could share better. We were supposed to learn it long ago as children.  I guess we forgot. I sure did.  Now I am learning.
This book has such practical information, forms, and advice. Hard to believe it was written by two female attorneys.  No offense, must be all those years in a very litigious job, Human Resources.  I ramble… The book is published by Nolo Press.  Another great resource for so many DIY-ers (Do It Yourself).
When I had an opportunity to see Janelle Orsi, one of the authors, in action last week, it all made sense.  Janelle has a  youthful appearance and was dressed in Levis and a shirt, with short hair, casual and relaxed speaking style and a very Berkeley, California vibe.  As someone from the Bay Area of California, I felt a little homesick.  Many of her slides referred to California.  Luckily, a local attorney, Thomas Beckett assisted in customizing her information for North Carolina.
Her PowerPoint included many cartoons and a casual script for easy reading and digesting.  I had brought my very well used copy of her book for an autograph but decided to tell her how much I used her book instead. I think she knew that. It has been through much use and abuse. It has been rained on, and the number of sticky notes telling me where to find useful information was comical.  She enjoyed seeing how much I used my copy. She wanted to take a picture of it.  Instead I got a picture of both of us and my book (see here).
Information that she passed on was very valuable.  One of the best things was a list of websites.
One was for her book for nothing!!!!!!!!!  I am passing it on to you.  This is really what sharing is about.
You can also go to my website page that lists many of my favorite books that I have accumulated and poured over in the past years on my journey of learning to share, my life, my passion about new ways to live, my possessions, and my heart.
A taste of The Sharing Solution for you:  Thank you Janelle.
      Below is an example a part of one of her worksheets:

Home Environment, People, and Lifestyle:

1 2 3 4 5 I want to live in a way that is environmentally sustainable.
1 2 3 4 5 I want to feel free to have social events where I live.
1 2 3 4 5 I want to live in a nonsmoking home.
1 2 3 4 5 I would like to have some rules about drug and alcohol use.
1 2 3 4 5 I want to be able to have overnight guests.
1 2 3 4 5 I would like a quiet space (or quiet times).
1 2 3 4 5 I need space to practice trumpet (or other loud activity).
1 2 3 4 5 I want to share housing with someone who can help care for my child/pet.
1 2 3 4 5 I am open to caring for others and/or their children and pets.
1 2 3 4 5 I hope to feel a sense of community with people I live with.
1 2 3 4 5 I want to live with like-minded people. This means:
1 2 3 4 5 I would like to do activities with my cosharers, such as:
1 2 3 4 5 I would like to do mealsharing and collective food buying.

Filed Under: Personal Preparation, Pocket Neighborhoods, Resources for You, Shared Housing Tagged With:
January 1, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Finding Others – Ideas and  Tips – 8 plus !

A large number of you wanted to know how to find others who might be interested in a shared housing experience. I thought I would give you a few pointers about that from my experiences.
The journey starts with you:
   TIP #1 Ask and answer a few questions to get started:
       Why does this resonate with you?
       What appeals to you? Look inside you.
       The big question is. Why do I want to live in a shared house?
Then start moving outside of yourself to see who else might be in your tribe or your social web.
    TIP #2   Look at who you know,  who you have been talking to about this idea/concept for months or years, or who you showed the
                        NBC segment to?
                When you look at those others, what does their past predict as future behavior? are they risk takers?
                What does your social web look like? Those others who you interact with regularly, frequently, or those who have a special place for you ?

Get practical and stop just talking about it! (This is the Nudge in me coming out, she wants some action)
  TIP #3   Have a gathering of those who you see as possibles for your tribe- and NOTE: don’t forget before you invite them:
           What is the timing for them in their lives,  their finances to be able to take action,  and finally can you live with them?
    Possible exercises for your gathering: Suggestions for you.
      – What is standing in your way? (everyone answers this and their is a discussion).
      – The W’s- More on that later ! First one-  is Why do you want to do this?

Spreading the word,  this is called marketing too.
   TIP # 4  – Who has the desire and energy and will not give up?
     The Players- I call them Burning Souls (who is on fire to make this happen? who is in this with you?)
      It really helps to have a partner on this journey.
   TIP #5 – Don’t forget your WHY- (it will help you when you get tired or discouraged)
   BIG TIP # 6 
               How to find the people,  the place, and have the tools to make it WORK ! (otherwise you might have another kind of story to tell)
                          so far we are only talking about the people and finding them.  Stay tuned for more on the searching for your place and the tools to get along.
Want more information?
   TIP# 7   – check out Resources on my website: A taste of what is available. See articles, books, websites on the topic and more.
To get you started, look at the best book, on sharing almost everything, including a house:
    by Janelle Orsi Attorney, Emily Doskow Attorney
         Especially pages 140 and 141 will help you to figure out what you want to share or not. Many more questionnaires and great material in the book.
We also have some customized questionnaires and exercise for you in our Dreaming Series Coaching
or as I like to call it, “Getting You Community Ready” see it on my website at http://www.womenlivingincommunity.com/services/consulting/.
Want more help figuring out your Why? Maybe you could get a group together to talk about all your WHYS got shared living?  That is what we do.
If this helped you, please let me know. Love for you to “Like” us on Facebook.    Comments welcome on the blog too!
In Movement and Action,
Marianne Kilkenny
Women FOR Living in Community
www.womenlivingincommunity.com

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NBC Nightly News- After Thoughts

December 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

It’s been a wild and wonderful ride since last Saturday’s show on NBC Nightly News Weekend edition. It started out with a call on my cell phone a man, Tranh Tran,  with a very sexy voice, saying he was with NBC and would like to talk to me about the possibility of featuring something about the growing trend of Boomer women sharing houses.  He had found my name in various places in his Google search. Thank you Mari Cochran and Cheri Britton for your brilliant assistance on things technical ala creative on the web that got me prepared.

He called Saturday and they were here filming for 6 hours the following Monday. That meant my housemates really stepped to assist in making this a successful event. We all have very busy lives and sometimes it feels like we are ships in the night. Often someone is gone all day or out of town. As luck, or whatever guides these things, we were all here. Even better, everyone dropped things and really rallied! What would they film, who would they talk to? Would we get to see it?

I only had the answer to the last question. We would see it when everyone else did, Saturday night at 6:30 EST.                                             The Saturday after Thanksgiving.

And yes, of course all those brilliant things I said about all my work speaking and conferences and on and on. Did they show that NO! I woke up after the filming at 4am to KNOW that they would something about me saying I was most like Blanche. I was right. There in my very own bedroom I said it and everyone watching the National news saw it too. Actually I talked to my sister and she thinks I am more like Dorothy. Does that mean I am bossy, maybe, in charge I like to think.

There has been so much interest! The fact that they mentioned matching services at the same time they showed our website, inferred that we do that I think. It is a grand idea and I have thought of it often. We shall see what transpires around the next steps.

Hope to get to all of you with emails in time. For now, I just want to thank all of you who sent emails, went to our Facebook page and Meet Up and joined.  BTW,  I am realizing that the Meet Up is more for our local Asheville programs. Hope everyone subscribes to  the website as the new services, products and even some video’s will start out from here!

Off to Sarasota, Florida to see my peeps in the Living in Community clan there. Will be sharing “The Real Deal” of shared housing. http://www.meetup.com/LivinginCommunityNetwork/events/41338212/

Get to show off a short video about our house. More than was shown on our 2 minutes and 11 seconds. It’s been a wonderful few weeks. Please continue to send your emails and blog additions! It’s a movement!

Marianne

 

 

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Perks !

November 4, 2011 By 2 Comments

 No coffee today!

 What a way to start the day! Got a bad cold and laryngitis too! Poor me. But wait ! There is a knock at my door. S. shows up to apologize for slamming the door as she takes out the recycling for pick up. Slam away, at least I don’t have to take it out in the blustery, gray and rainy morning.

 Next I get a hug from S. Joining both G. and S. for coffee is offered in the common kitchen which they share, and I say “Sure!” I didn’t have to make my coffee today. Then on top of that wonderment, I got some scrambled eggs at a table with cloth napkins and some company. Couldn’t even sit and feel sorry for myself this morning.

To add to the festivities of the pre-8am goings-on (is that a Southern term?) a raccoon or some other creature had gotten into the garbage and it was strewn all over the driveway. The thought of going and picking all that up this morning overwhelmed me. Before I had a chance to grab the rubber gloves, (which I did slowly) L. was out there doing the chore of picking up after our 4-legged neighbor. Bless your heart. (Yes, that is Southern expression, I am sure).

Off went G. to give a ride to a friend with instructions to S. NOT to do the dishes. Yes, they do them by hand. I saw my opportunity to give back for the treat I had been given this morning. I did the dishes in their kitchen, as I have my own kitchen in our shared house, and felt GREAT about doing dishes. Maybe I do have a fever. The things that continue to surprise me about living in a shared house with the right folks.

Next is was helping S. off to her 17-day trip to St. Croi (sp?) for her daughter’s wedding. Don’t know that I was much help, but it felt good to try! Off she went in her little bug. It felt good to wave goodbye to her. I know that I love to have someone wave goodbye to me when I am off, especially for a long trip. Makes me feel like I have a family who will know I am gone.

Well, we have that here. A chosen family who looks out for each other, and so many little things that add up to a big feeling of comfort and love.

Who knew? I didn’t but I did dream about it. It’s reality now.

Marianne lives in a shared house in Asheville, North Carolina and inspires others to live in community as a solution to the isolation of living and aging alone. Her primary attention goes to Boomer women like herself.  www.womenlivingincommunity.com

Filed Under: Shared Housing

BFF- Who is she?

October 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment

My BFF or Best Female Friend is Sarah. We have known each other for 33 years and counting. We have been through our weddings, divorces, buying houses, care giving for our parents, the death of parents, family challenges, work in Silicon Valley for years and all that took, and the escape from that Valley of horrors without too many ticks or enduring health challenges.

We moved apart, physically but never did we move apart in other ways. I can sometimes feel her when we are together on the phone. I know that I can call her no matter what is going on with me and she will be there.

I hope you all have a friend like this.  I always know she will understand me.

She has shared my dream for the type of living where those of us without children (not that would secure a future) we can have fun, live surrounded by folks we love and care for and and love and care for us. That mutual support that is so important to all of us.

Sarah always got what I was talking about around this idea. We brainstormed, talked about ideas, and even looked at property.  She came to visit me in North Carolina and I visited her in Santa Barbara. We looked at the many possibilities that might work. The creative process continues and the reality of that living alternative  as we age together becomes visible.

Will we live together like the Golden Girls?  I hope so.  What a blast it would be.  Having that kind of knowledge of each other, the history without the family system in place would be divine.  You have a BFF you would love to have share the ride with us?  Keep dreaming with Sarah and I.

 

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Golden Girls plus one – My move to Shared Housing

August 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Reflections of my move to my shared housing in Asheville, NC

Most moves, especially in a short amount of space, take a toll emotionally, spiritually and physically on me. This one feels so different. Why? Because I am in the place with the people in a way that feels right for me now.

I have said to anyone who would listen, that I wanted to live like the Golden Girls for the last 20 plus years. The laughter, zest for life and camaraderie really has called to me. So much so that I have encouraged others with workshops and my work on Women FOR Living in Community.

How this wonderful arrangement came about is one of the parts of the story. While I was doing “my work” and sharing my passions with women at the workshops and other related work  I was also looking for my tribe, those who I would want to live with.

And I did. I knew it was the right situation with the right people. I just needed to take the leap of faith I tell others to do! I got a bit of a kick in the pants to assist me after a fall on my stairs on a snowy Christmas Day last year. No time like the present.

The opportunity for community, my own space within the house for me and my kitties, a new part of town and the structure of Dynamic Governance for organization and decision making and State of Grace for the working together. That is what allowed me leave the house I needed to sell and know this was the right move.

Then there are the wonderful people who live here. I knew all of them, through my work and passion of community. All wanted to live in community and were willing to make it work.

A dream come true. The details of my dream come true.

The Move

Monday, the move. Things were not going all that well. The truck was late, the guys were a little slow moving and “oh dear the truck is too small to fit everything!” Surprise! Oh dear.

Got things loaded in my car, all those breakable things. Turn it on…  not turning over.  EEEEK! Breathe.  Luckily my very present friend Vickie was there to talk me down.

The drama continued throughout the day. More than I could have  imagined!

There were angels along the way. My movers jumped the car. My NEW housemate Sherry, drove me to my mechanic and waited to see if the problem could be fixed with no hesitation.  My mechanic fixed the battery, with no charge.  Because of my new living situation I WAS NOT ALONE.  What a new experience!!  They were just there.

Everything got to the house in one piece. The kitties made it and are happy.

The best part! My housemates welcoming smiles, encouragement and hugs!!!!

You wonder who the plus one is?   Stay tuned.

Filed Under: Shared Housing Tagged With: , ,

Welcome!

April 5, 2011 By 4 Comments

Welcome !

I am Marianne Kilkenny and I have been interested in aging in community for many years. In particular, living like the Golden Girls is the best way to describe what I have in mind. A place that provided camaraderie, zest for life and laughter that was always present in their home together.

Living in community, THE solution to the challenges and isolation of aging today.

My interest is to bring Boomer women together to bond and form connections together. You might see a theme, it’s about not waiting, but to take action now.   As women, we are the ones who bring others together so it’s time now to build alliances that will give us new models to thrive in as our lives move forward into our 2nd Half of life. Whether you live with other women, your family of friends, your extended family, it’s about making it happen.

Many of us have talked about getting together and buying a big house, or sharing a space, building or retrofitting a neighborhood, or doing more than just talking about getting to know our neighbors.

The time is now. Please join us. I would love to hear what you are dreaming about, doing to build this vision into reality. We can learn from each other to form a future that encourages interdependence and trust.

I would also love to hear from you with your stories or questions about living in community. You can contact me at: mk (at) mekilkenny.com or feel free to call me at 828-230-2093.

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